July/August 2025
What is it with men? Edmund Brand takes a look at the worrying issues around men’s mental health, and discovers what some local groups are doing to help…
Although NHS data says that 12.5% of men have a mental health disorder, the true figure is likely to be higher – after all, men hide their feelings, don’t they? Men don’t talk about stuff like women do. The ‘stiff upper lip’ and the beery banter about football are clichés, but it’s true that society has expectations about what it means to be ‘masculine’.
Tragically, some men suffering poor mental health choose the worst possible outcome, and the statistics around male suicide are terrifying. In every country in the world, more men than women take their own lives – and often by a huge margin. Here in England, 75% of all suicides are male, with the highest rate in the 45–49 age range, making suicide the biggest killer of men under 50.
The experiences behind these statistics are complex, but there are some common threads. For instance, unlike women, many men lack close friends. In his book Billy No-Mates, Max Dickins writes that when he decided to propose to his girlfriend, he realised there was
no one he could call on to be his best man. He’s not alone: a 2018 study found that one in three men could not name a close male friend, and sadly this problem gets worse with increasing age.
A lot of men are reliant on their female partner for emotional support as well as arranging social events, often with ‘couple friends’. It’s easy to see how men who are isolated from true connection with other men are less likely to talk about their feelings or reach out to friends, family or mental health professionals when they need help.
These factors and others may combine in some instances and result in self-harm, risky behaviours such as drug use or excessive drinking – and in some cases the ultimate, permanent choice.
Addressing the problems
So, can anything be done about all this? There isn’t a simple answer but it does seem that if men can find ways to get together and provide mutual support, building trust and a sense of belonging, they can start to feel better. The Men’s Sheds Association (MSA) knows this: its website states that its aims are “improving wellbeing, reducing loneliness and combatting social isolation” – all through giving men a space where they can chat and open up while tinkering with practical projects. An MSA initiative in London, funded by the City Bridge Foundation, plans to open 50 new men’s sheds across the capital in the next few years. In terms of mental health, sheds work!
Here in Bridport we’re lucky to have the Community Shed, which has been running since 2018. Although it’s open to both men and women, its origins lie in the need to find ways for men to come together to do practical things together and find friendship. Members describe the Shed as a social hub with a chance to socialise – “and a cuppa is always available,” says one. “There’s a wide range of members and we all learn from, and help, each other. You can get involved with practical projects or just sit and chat.”
Bridport Community Shed (www.bridportcommunityshed.org.uk) is open on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday mornings from 10am to midday.
Unsurprisingly in such a proactive, thoughtful town as ours, there are also several other ways for men to get together. For instance, mental health charity Harmony runs a men’s walking group, offering a gentle walk on Tuesday afternoons, setting off from the shelter on St Mary’s Field at 2pm and lasting up to two hours.
“I’ve been enjoying the men’s walks for just over a year now,” says a regular group member. “It fits very nicely into my routine and needs… I enjoy the chance to communicate with other men on a walk rather than sitting in a room, which I know I would find slightly claustrophobic. Also, you are talking to different people along the way, so by the end of the walk you could easily have had a good conversation with six people.”
Details of the Harmony walking group are online at www.theharmonycentre.org.uk/drop-in.
Bridport Men’s Group meets on the second and fourth Fridays each month at 4.30pm at the Chapel in the Garden (Rax Lane entrance). “It’s a warm and supportive space where I feel heard and understood,” says one participant. “What we do in our circle seems very simple, though it also feels very valuable and rare. Social media and international news can be fast, overwhelming and stressful to process – but in our group, time seems to slow right down. We practise good listening and simply hold each other’s humanity with respect and dignity. After a meeting I usually feel renewed and grounded – and often a bit brighter about the world and about myself. Listening to other men I can feel clearer and lighter about being a man in this society.” For more information contact John at johnnigelharley@yahoo.co.uk or Roger at candrlake@gmail.com.
And there’s also Bridport Men’s Wellness Group, which meets fortnightly on Mondays at 7.30pm at the Youth and Community Centre. Find this group on Facebook or email Nick at menswellness@hotmail.com for details.
The group is a welcoming, safe space for sharing ideas to improve physical and emotional wellbeing: catching up with each other, sharing the joys and challenges of life in the knowledge that everyone is there to support each other.
One member says: “I have a wonderful partner and young children but was feeling increasingly lonely in the social aspect of my life as much of my time was taken up with work and family. This group gives me time to connect with other men who have similar needs; while our life experiences vary widely, the common bond of meeting regularly is something special.”
If you or someone you know needs someone to talk with urgently, call Samaritans on 116 123.